Life Changes, Tough Choices.......

Sooo......2 months ago, during a conversation with my primary care doctor, she said "Gretchen, I can tell you are frustrated with your weight loss journey. You seem to be stuck, what can we do to help you get through this." My response.....Dr. Dow, I am ready to try ANYTHING!  We started with agreeing to do a sleep study, join a medically supervised exercise program at the gym and then, she said the "dirty" words, weight loss surgery.

I know I sighed audibly, and she smiled at me.  Weight loss surgery was always a last chance option for me.  I know several people who have gone through the surgery (some successfully, and several who have regained the weight after 2-3years).  Here's the thing, I know I am stubborn, strong, determined, blahblahblah..........It scares me to death, that I will become complacent like the people I know who have regained the weight.

I promised my doctor, I would do a consultation with a surgeon. I promised I would be open minded and really listen to what the surgeon had to say.  I am leaning more towards having the surgery than not having the surgery.  I would be doing the Vertical Gastric Sleeve.  Basically they remove 2/3 of your stomach, the portion that creates ghrelin.  Ghrelin is the hormone that creates the feeling of hunger.

So far, I have been to an orientation, met with the surgeon, done a crap load of research and had 1 nutrition class.

My psych eval is scheduled (okay, for those that know me.....don't say it, I know I am crazy, but hey, why not have a doc tell me officially?)

I had my last Diet Dr. Pepper on Tuesday (even though I found one in the office fridge yesterday).  (can't have carbonation for at least 1 year after surgery).

I have started practicing not drinking anything 30 mins before or 30 mins after I eat.....that is a tough habit to break!  Next will be not drinking with a straw AND giving up coffee.  I think I will wait until September 1st for the coffee......

I am going to the gym for an orientation today, I will meet with a trainer 2x a week and then also do some pool work (which is really what I want to do......)

The earliest I can do the surgery would be middle to end of October.  I decided to share my decision because I think that people tend to be ashamed of deciding this drastic route to assist with weight loss.  If you think it is the easy way out, you would be wrong.  Yes, the surgery is the easy piece, BUT we are talking a complete lifestyle change.  Remember, the stomach will be 2/3 smaller than it is now.  This is just a tool.  I will be looking to my inner circle, more than ever, for support.

I ask that if you have something negative to say, DON'T say anything.  This is not a decision I am coming to lightly.  It has taken a lot of prayer and research.

Let the journey begin!

Back on Track

I am happy to report, I am back on track.  I have lost 5 lbs (in 7 days) since my post about falling off the wagon!  I have had "cheat" meals, but nothing like my birthday weekend.  I was nervous about Nutrisystem, because I know you have to be careful when you stop eating the food, but I am comfortable because I know I will know how to eat when I decide to get off of the plan.  I am scheduled to get month 2 at the end of the month and decided to add some of the frozen entries.

I find it is easier to stay on track if I allow myself a little craving every once and awhile. 

On Friday, I went to dinner with a friend and I knew I wasn't going to be following Nutrisystem, so I got to the mall early and walked all 3 levels. 

I have also noticed that the foods I once LOVED to eat, are now being rejected by my body.  If I have something greasy or starchy....I end up feeling ill for a few days.  My goal is to be down another 20 lbs by August 1st (7 weeks from now).  That would put my total weight loss at 53 lbs!

The new set of YMCA classes begins on Monday and I am signed up for two "land" classes and 1 aquatics class.  Now that the weather is nicer, I am more motivated to get outside and walk with Sadie (my puppy girl).  The property I manager is 15 hilly acres so it gives me lots of space to walk inclines and increase my heart rate during a walk....thankfully Sadie likes to walk quickly so she doesn't slow me down.

I love that the clothes I haven't been able to wear in over 4 years are fitting again, but it is going to be time to buy some new clothes shortly.  I am putting a dollar in a jar for each time I exercise.  The goal is to reach $100 so I can buy a new outfit.

Body Changes

It is has been almost a year since I posted.  Life threw me a curve ball in September and I was rushed into emergency surgery on September 9th.  I am one lucky girl and although, I may never regain all of the feeling in my saddle area, I am thankful every day to be walking and that I regained most of my functions.

My mother was a saint through my healing process!  She had to help me with things she hasn't had to help with since I was a small child.  My dog took on roll of protector and whenever I moved she would get my mom and make sure she came in to check on me.  She loves my dad, but wouldn't let anyone in my room unless my mom was there too.  It was very cute.  I also learned quickly who my true friends were and the people who were willing to put aside their fears and step up to the plate and send me positive vibes, joke about the ridiculous events occuring and let me cry when I needed to.  They all made the situation about me and I didn't have to worry about reassuring them I would be okay.

My surgeon was amazing and the day he discharged me, I was a little sad.

Through this journey I recognized I had been lying to myself about my size.  I always knew I was big, but didn't realize how big I got.  Nobody ever said anything to me and those of you who struggle with weight understand that sometimes when you look in the mirror, you don't see your true reflection staring back at you.

I made the decision to change my lifestyle.  It is a struggle everyday to make the right choices and I don't always do it, but I TRY and forgive myself when I slip.

I started using myfitnesspal.com to track my progress.  I exercise daily even if it is just for 30 mins and I joined the YMCA.

I have lost 30 of the MANY pounds I need to lose.  My goal is to be at 235 by the time I am 41 so I can zipline over the treetops in Costa Rica..........

I have been vocal about my journey because it keeps me honest.  I have now added a weight loss ticker to my blog so you all can follow me on my journey as well.  Slow and steady wins the race (or so I keep trying to remind myself)!

I plan to post a picture of me from last may next to a picture of me now in the same outfit so you can see the difference.  I didn't notice it at first, but the 30lbs definitely shows and I feel better everyday!